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A little gift for a good friend of mine:

Who Cares, 2014 (Acrylic on canvas, 8”x10”)


Holy Fuck

Humanity is in a scary state.

This PSA had been brought to you by Wal-Mart.

The Horrid Fragility of my Humble Cranium, and How I’ll Just Have to Keep Going

I think I blew a fuse today.

I don’t do well with confrontation, and I kind of having a growing problem with anxiety. So, working a retail job like I do may not be the best for me. But I enjoy people (not the shitty ones) and it’s not always bad. But, today was super fucking busy. So busy, that one of the manager’s on duty texted a bunch of people asking if they could come in early.
There were several instances where I messed up a transaction while on the register, and a couple times where I messed up my words when I was talking to a customer while on the sales floor. When these things happen, my whole body feels the mistake. My whole body reacts, and it’s generally by tensing up. Now, I didn’t do this (noticeably) around any customers, and certainly not in front of anyone at the register, but… Yeah. It was bogging down.
It became so much that I could feel in my head this fuzzy pain, as though there were frayed wires in there, sparking as the grazed one another.
I didn’t really recover by the end of the night, and my head still feels weird.
I just kind if came to the realization that I’m not doing too well on my own.
I’m pretty good at putting on a face for people nowadays (at work at least [which is a human function I’ve always loathed and despised since I discovered it in middle school]) but I couldn’t Hold it all the time around my manager. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her about my anxiety, and she understood. I mean, of course she didn’t totally get it, but she caught the concept. What was a cool thing I kind of realized was that my coworkers probably think pretty highly of me. I’ve gotten compliments recently about me being “one of the only really good guys [who works there]” and how I’m really intelligent and stuff. It feels good to be recognized as something I sometimes forget I am and sometimes think I’m not; especially by people who I don’t think of noticing stuff like that about me.
Because of a cool concert poster illustration I saw on Tumblr a second ago for the band Radical Face, I’m currently listening to some songs on their album Ghost again.
Radical Face is a band I can thank one of my Matt friends for, as well as King Charles. Both great.
I think this Matt I have referred to as.. Drunkle? I’m not sure. It’s been a while. Hopefully you know who I’m talking about. If not, of well. Chances are, you aren’t one of the few who actually put themselves to the task of reading all my bullshit, so whether you know who I’m talking about or not is bullshit to you either way. Regardless— read on. Thanks for making it this far. I don’t think there’ll be must more of this post anyway.

I felt the need to go to a dark field and scream angry shit and rant at things. I find myself with these paragraphs that I craft (I think) very well, and they drift into the void between memory and afterthought to be lost forever.
I had something really good today.
Oh well… Maybe someday.

I was thinking this was going to be a short post, lol.

Hope you guys feel like your brains are in tact. If not, get some glue. That usually works. I gotta go before I break my phone from listening to music and typing a shit ton at the same time, while charging it.

See? Prove that I’m not always smart, People That Claim I Always Am.
Also known as No One.

Now I’m just talking out of my ass.

Ace Ventura always comes to mind.

Ok, firreal firreal.
Hope your days are better than mine,

-Always Optimistic


I had a long talk with my dad last night about me being a dick. Basically he said: stop doing that. And you know what, it’s good advice.

I like this.. I wonder sometimes if I need a talking to like this.

Music can be The Thread that Stitches Us Together

There is something absolutely magnificent about music that can only come across as truly and innocently beautiful. As though you can feel each musician’s commitment and energy toward the song.

I love connecting with people through music. It’s a language I may not speak fluently, but one that I wholeheartedly feel.

I think this is the same reason that I have a hard time being patient with people who don’t have diverse taste, or even listen to different genres or to much at all.
It’s like… It’s like they are cutting themselves off from the world, in a way. Art, in all forms, is a force that is ever-flowing and will never die. It can’t. All things around us is created through imagination and creativity and the feeling of necessity.

I just enjoy it so much.
I think I will always enjoy acoustic music over everything else. I enjoy my rap, my dubstep— all of that. I really do, I love it. But there’s something about the bare bones feeling you get with acoustic music, and relying on a few components to create something fantastic.
I think this ties into my appreciation for dubstep with incorporates samples of vocals and things.
I dunno.

Enjoy your music, and maybe find some new stuff to jam to.

-Always Optimistic